Pleasantly Surprised

I'm pretty freaking excited to report that last night's venture back to Bikram Yoga ended up being a very pleasant experience.

Well, as pleasant as Bikram Yoga can be.

I expected to get my butt kicked much worse than I did.  I'm not claiming it was easy, or that I didn't have to sit down a few times.  And I'm not even going to pretend that I didn't keep toppling over during the balancing poses.  But I didn't think I was about to die a single time, and for my first time back in 2 years, that's HUGE.

I was also pleasantly surprised by the other individuals in the class last night.  I am going to the same yoga studio, and the same class time, as the last time I did Bikram.  Before there was a group of women there that seemed very cliquey, and very in shape, and very seasoned at Bikram.  Quite frankly, they were a bit intimidating.  This time all of the others in the class seemed more 'real' and a lot of them seemed like newbies.  It was a good vibe.  I'm hoping that is typical for the students who are now attending the class, as it is the one that works with my schedule.

I'm excited it turned out even better than expected, and I'm looking forward to our next class tomorrow.

Still in Prep Mode

It's been almost a month since I first posted about considering a come back to running, and in some ways it feels like I've been dragging my feet about getting started, and perhaps I have been.  If I'm being totally honest about it, I have to admit that I'm scared.  I know that this is my last go at running. EVER.  If I can't find a way to run pain and injury free, I'm going to have to let it go for good.  And I really don't think I'm ready to face that possibility.  If I don't start, then I won't ever have to quit.

Yes, ridiculous, but it's where I am right now.

So perhaps I am being overly cautious and spending a ridiculous amount of time preparing to get started, but knowing that this is my last chance, I'm just trying to do everything I can to succeed.  It's like the quote "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail."  If I don't properly prepare, I feel like I'm guaranteed to fail.  So, I'm sticking to my August Goals like glue as much as possible, and looking for other things I can do to prepare as well.

In that spirit, I've decided to start doing Bikram Yoga again.  I found a really good deal on Groupon for 3 months worth of classes, and I am going to take my first class tonight.  I suspect I'll spend half the class sitting on the floor trying not to vomit, but I know it gets easier with each successive class.  I'm a huge believer in the benefits of yoga for runners.  I suppose Bikram isn't quite the same as other yoga, but something about the challenge of it resonates with me and I feel like it still provides the stretching and flexibility benefits that are the prefect balance to running. My goal is to do yoga 2-3 days a week, so we will see how it goes.

Now, if only our temperatures would drop and I could get back out there and do a little running.  I may be willing to do yoga in a sauna, but I'm not up for running when the temperature is over 100° F.

Week #3 Check In

Just a little recap of this week's attempts at my August goals...

Water: I had it in my head that I didn’t do so great with my water consumption at the beginning of the week, but it turns out I actually only missed on Monday. Probably because I spent my evening drinking wine instead of water. Oops.

Yay for being pleasantly surprised!

Weight Loss: Yikes about sums it up on the weight loss journey this week. I really didn’t eat that great the first half of the week. I did get back on track and manage to repair some of the damage, but I’m still up 2 lbs from last week, with my overall total at 5.2 lbs lost.

But on a happy weight loss note, I did wear a shirt to work yesterday that I haven’t worn in a while because it is really long and felt too tight across my hips. The small amount of weight I have lost is just enough to make the shirt tolerable to wear again.

Small victories. It’s all about the small victories.

Community: I added a few more blogs to my blog roll again this week, and I’m definitely developing some favorite blogs to read. I’ve even started getting a few comments, which always bring a HUGE smile to my face. I really don’t know why I gave up blogging. I really do love it!

Running: I didn’t run at all this week. It’s still insanely hot here, and I just wasn’t up for it. So, my week was full of evening walks with my two sweet fur babies.

I did, however, spend a lot of time daydreaming about buying a treadmill and pondering where in my house I could find room to put it.

Instead of actually running, I spent some time preparing to run. (Which is equally important, right?) I went shopping and bought some athletic socks since I only owned 2 pair and every time I turn around they’re both in the laundry. I’ve also been doing some research about pool running. From what I’m reading it sounds like a great alternative that would be easier on the joints and much cooler during the hot Arizona summers where we spend at least 4 months in the triple digits. Not to mention the convenience factor, since I’m fortunate enough to have a pool in my backyard.

If anyone out there has any experience with pool running, I’d love to hear what you think about it!

Yup, It's Still Hot Here!

I truly love where I live for a million and one reasons, but the summer temps do make it a bit challenging to run without owning a treadmill or belonging to a gym.  At least we should be kissing the triple digits goodbye sometime next month.  In the mean time, I'll just embrace the sauna that I live in.

from inside.

with the A/C blasting.

Refusing to Fall Off the Weight Loss Wagon

Hello.  My name is runnergirl and my biggest fault is that I am a perfectionist.

But not in that clichéd way of attempting to turn what is usually seen as a positive into a negative when forced to respond to the common interview question, "What is your biggest weakness?"

I am a real perfectionist.

And it has been destroying my life.

OK. OK.  Destroying may be a bit of an exaggeration, but still.

When I set a goal for myself, my standards are ridiculously high and I'm unable to cut myself any slack.  I am my own worst enemy because of it and in the long run I end up sabotaging my efforts.

I find it next to impossible not to have an all-or-nothing attitude.  When I set a goal of doing something, like say drinking eight glasses of water every day in August, as soon as I miss a single day I end up thinking I may as well just quit because my goal was to drink the water EVERY DAY, and even one slip up renders my goal unreachable.  I can't help but see my attempt to reach a goal marred by failure when I slip up, and wondering why I should bother continuing.

Stepping back, I can obviously see how ridiculous this thinking is.  The real goal is to be healthier by consuming more water.  Even if I miss a few days out of the month, I'm still better off than I was when I started.  But even though I can logically think this through and see the bigger picture, I still have a hard time keeping myself on track as soon as I allow myself to miss one day of whatever I am trying to achieve.

I've missed a few days of drinking my water the past week or so, and I haven't exercised every day like I wanted to, AND I fell off the healthy eating/weight loss wagon for a few day.  Normally this would be enough to derail me and I'd just give up, telling myself it was too late to succeed and I'll try again next month (which really turns into more like 6 months before I give it another go).  But I REFUSE to do that this time.  I really really want to get healthier and lose some weight and start running again.  So I'm fighting my internal perfectionist and plodding ahead, even with black marks on my record.  I can (and I will!) do this.

Here's to (eventually) losing those damn 10 lbs!

Week #2 Check In

How are we halfway through August already?  I cannot believe how fast this year is flying by!

Water: I'm still hanging tough on the daily water consumption, although I did miss one day mid-week when I was out of the house all evening. When I got home, I had to pick between guzzling a ton of water before bed, resulting in many groggy bathroom trips or a good night's sleep.  In my life, sleep always. wins. out.  ALWAYS.

Weight Loss: I've completed two weeks of South Beach diet and I'm down a total of 7.2 lbs. The weight loss really slowed down this week, which is to be expected, but still makes me sad.  My second goal of losing 10 lbs is feeling a little too daunting and like I'm never going to make it.  Sigh.

I also had to fight harder to staying true to the diet this past week, and I gave in to that movie theater popcorn craving I mentioned last week. The first two weeks of South Beach are quite restrictive and I am soooo bored with my options!  That being said, I'm still committed to my weight loss goals, and I'm determined to keep plodding along.  Today starts phase two, where I get to add more foods back into my diet.  Yippee!

Community: I'm still reading all of the posts from the bloggers on my blog roll.  I haven't been at it long enough to really 'get to know' anyone yet, but there are a few blogs that I'm already really enjoying.

Running: No runs for me this week.  Our temperatures have been 111°F - 115°F all week, and there has been an excessive heat warning, where they tell you to stay inside as much as possible.  I may be crazy, but not that crazy.  So, no running for this girl until they lift the advisory.  Man oh man do I miss owning a treadmill.  I've really been pondering the idea of purchasing another one as soon as I can afford it, but I have no clue where I would put it in my house.  (I sure do miss my old house in Indiana with my huge bedroom and basement!)  Even though I haven't ran, I still did get out for a 1-2 mile walk with my fur babies almost every night.

Overall, a pretty good week!

Between the Goals -----> Success!

I'm quickly deciding that I was a bit too ambitious with my second weight loss goal of losing 10 lbs.  The scales haven't been moving much all week and I'm feeling like I am NEVER going to make it to goal #2.

In order to cheer myself up, I'm celebrating a little non-scale victory.

I have a right hand ring that I had made several years ago.  I like to wear my rings fairly loose, and I let the salesperson convince me to have the ring sized smaller than I should have.  As a result it feels tight a lot of the time and it annoys me, so I end up taking it off when I gain a little weight.

Well...

I'm happy to say that I am wearing the ring again!

Go me.

Week #1 Check In

Since we are already a week into August, I thought I'd post a little update about how I'm doing with my monthly goals.

Water: So far so good on this one, as I've managed to drink at least eight glasses of water every day.  I do struggle with it at one of my jobs because of the limited time I have for bathroom breaks, but luckily I only have to deal with it 1-2 days per week.

Weight Loss: Again, so far so good.  I've successfully completed a week of South Beach diet and I'm down a total of 5.6 lbs.  I'm having an easier time staying faithful to the diet than in the past, probably because I have been mostly sugar free (except for fruit) since May 1st so I'm not having to deal with the sugar cravings.  However, for some insane reason I have been fighting one hell of a craving for movie theater popcorn covered in butter.  I do have to say, though, that I am so sick of eating eggs for breakfast that I want to scream.  One more week and then I will have some other options.  I can't wait!  But it is soooo worth it to finally be losing some weight.  It feels good to once again be focusing on doing some good things for my health.

Community: I have been reading each new post to the blogs that I added to my blog roll, and I've even added a few more this past week.  I'd really love to find some newbies to connect with since I'm back at the beginning again, but so far most of the blogs I've been reading are of seasoned runners.  I know it will just take some time.

Running: I did a 1.5 mile run on Sunday, and another one on Friday.  Our temps have jumped up again this past week, so the first run was completed in over 100° temps.  Yuck.  The runs are still feeling pretty slow and exhausting but that's ok.  I'm expecting slow and exhausting right now.  In addition to my runs, I've been trying to get some form of exercise every day.  For the past week, I have taken my dogs for a 1-2 mile walk every evening.

All in all, not a bad week if I do say so myself.

To Face Lift, or Not to Face Lift...

that is the question.

It had always been my habit to give my blog a face lift when I started training for each new race.  Of course, I haven't actually trained for a race in years.

and years

and years.

So, this little ol' blog has had the same design for a really. long. time.  In some ways I'm tired of it and want to redesign it in honor of my attempted return to the running world.  At the same time, I sort of want to keep it the way it is because it brings back such great memories of my running past.  But maybe that isn't necessarily a good thing.  I've been spending way too much time feeling melancholy and nostalgic about my past life and wishing I could find a rewind button to go back to the happier time.  So, maybe a fresh start would be good for me.

Knowing myself, I will probably end up changing it eventually, so I'm adding a photo of it to remember what it looked like back in my running glory days...



In other news, I went for a brief run this evening.  I managed to sneak in a run (mostly) between rain showers, so the humidity was much higher than usual but the temperature was much lower.  I got a bit wet at the end, but I have to admit it felt great. We don't get much rain around here so I actually didn't mind being out in it.  I made it a mile and a half, which seems to be my go to distance as I get started, but that's a-okay.  I'm all about doing what feels right for now.  I did walk a bit during the last half mile, though.

Splits:
Mile 1 12:21/mile
Mile .5 12:57/mile

Temp: 86° F

Weight Loss Goal #1 -----> Success!

Since I don’t really have an ultimate weight loss goal in mind, I’m concentrating on reaching one small goal at a time. Once I’ve reached each goal I will decide on the next one.

My first goal was to kick the 150’s to the curb, and I’ve managed to succeed!

(Although I must admit that my first goal wasn’t all that lofty as I started out weighing 150.6 lbs)

I’ve spent the past 20 years bouncing around between 127 lbs and 155 lbs.

When I weigh in the 150’s I feel down right miserable.
When I weigh in the upper 140’s I feel uncomfortable, but tolerable.
When I weigh in the lower 140’s, I start to feel ok.
When I weigh in the 130’s, I feel comfortable
When I weigh in the upper 120’s, I feel fantastic.

I’d really like to feel fantastic again! But I haven’t weighed in the 120’s for YEARS! I’m not even sure I can get back down there again. For now, I’m going to concentrate on my next goal of losing a total of 10 lbs so I can start this running journey a little lighter on my feet, with less stress on my joints.

In other news, I went for a run on Sunday evening. I made it a mile and a half before the heat and exhaustion did me in.

Splits:
Mile 1 12:28/mile
Mile .5 12:18/mile

Temp: 105° F

I've Got a Plan

Well hello there, August!  Where in the world did you come from?  

As I've been pondering rejoining the running world, I've been feeling excited about something for the first time in longer than I can remember.  Not to mention how happy I am at the idea of blogging regularly again.

I'm thinking this running thing is gonna be good for me!

But....

I've got a long way to go to get back into it.  And I am not.  I repeat AM NOT.  Going to start off too fast and risk reactivating an old injury or causing a new one.  Therefore I decided I need a slow and steady plan of attack to get myself back into the swing of things.  So, I've developed a plan for the month of August to get me started.

First, I am going to step up my water consumption.  I'm going to aim for the recommended eight glasses a day to get started.

Next, I am going to work on losing a few pounds.  I think I see a few weeks of South Beach in my immediate future.  My body always responds really well to the diet.  I don't eat a ton of simple carbohydrates in the form of breads and pastas; however, I eat way more fruit than I should.  Chowing down fruit like crazy has been the only way I've been able to give up added sugar for the past three months.  I've known that I was going to have to rein it in at some point, and I think the time has finally arrived.  A few weeks of focusing on eating lean meats and vegetables will be a good way to reset my body and mind to adjust to a more reasonable balance of fruits to other foods in my diet.

Then, I am going to start finding myself a new online community of blogging runners.  I'm going to spend the month of August looking for some fellow runners whose blogs I enjoy reading.  Once I give myself some time to 'get to know' them (and time to actually start running again), I will start trying to connect with some of them online.

Most importantly, I am going to start running again.  I'm going to keep it light and easy to start off, aiming to run 2-3 times per week for as long or as short of a distance as feels right for the day, at whatever pace feels reasonable.

I'm going to reevaluate where I am in September and then decide if I'm really going to do this thing.  In the mean time, I do feel good about revisiting something from my past that brought so much amazing-ness to my life.  It's helping me realize how important it is for me to figure out what I need to be happy again and figure out how to make it happen.