Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Bring It On

I'm back!

It's been an agonizing past five months for me.

Suffering the ankle injury back in July, and having to bow out of running the Chicago Marathon was crushing for me.

I had finally... finally ... found the determination to reach for my long time dream of completing a marathon only to have it come crashing to an end before I really even got going. And something inside of me just cracked, and I quit. I basically just shrugged my shoulders and walked away because it hurt too much to do anything else.

But then the quitting hurt, too. I'm not a quitter! I could never have gotten to where I am in my life with the mentality of a quitter. When things get tough, I don't walk away. I grit my teeth, dig in my heels, and come out swinging.

So, why the different attitude now?

Something seemed to change in me the day I had to quit training for Chicago. I'm not good at failure. I've spent a life time avoiding things that I'm afraid I won't be good at, so I don't have to admit to failing at something. And failing at my first attempt at a full marathon was tough for me to deal with. I had a hard time internalizing it. I had a hard time admitting to the defeat. And I think I lost my confidence along the way, and to be perfectly honest I'm still not up for a second try.

But I have reached the point where the quitting is worse than the failing, and that says a lot. Quitting on something that I love just feels wrong. Missing something so badly and denying myself from doing it doesn't make any sense.

I failed.

SO WHAT!

So, after licking my wounds, and feeling sorry for myself, and sulking for the past 5 months. I'm ready to dust myself off and hit the ground running.

And even though I'm still suffering from a bruised ego and a lack of confidence. And even though I'm not ready to stare down the marathon demon. Yet.

I am ready to run again!

I miss it more than words can say, and I can't wait to get back out there and start training again.

So, I've picked a race!!

Yep, you heard me. I've finally made a decision about what's next for this runner girl.

Drum Roll, Please.....

I will be running the Bayshore Half Marathon in Traverse City, Michigan on May 26, 2007.

Bring It On, Baby!

12 comments:

  1. YAY!!!!!!!! Great decision!!! I can't wait to hear all about your training!!!!!

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  2. your ankle is just a minor speedbump on the road to your marathon. you'll be back in full force before you know it...and traverse city is the perfect place to start!! Congrats on making the big decision. I don't even think we'll end up getting a half in there this spring.

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  3. Wahooo! Way to go runnergirl! :) I can't wait to hear about your training!! So exciting!

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  4. Woo hoo! Yay! Yipee!! Good for you! Way to go, getting back on the horse. I'm sure you'll be stronger because of it. Good job!

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  5. Why are you unnecessarily hard on yourself? An injury is not a defeat, it is a delay. "The only real failure is that of character."

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  6. Good luck with the chosen race; you'll do great!

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  7. i may be biased, but....

    great choice on for a 1/2 er!!!!

    Can't wait to see you heading South along bayshore drive. it should be quite a pick-me-up!!!

    Glad you're ankle is feeling better.

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  8. Go, runnergirl, go! The only thing that can stop you is you!

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  9. WOW!!!! YIPPEE!!!!! Way to not let the setback get you down.

    You are going to be so ready for that HM! GL on the journey!

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  10. Way to go! Good luck to you!

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  11. congratulations! very exciting! right when I'll need to hang up my running shoes for a several weeks...dang!

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  12. congrats to you!! you will be a stronger runner after the past 5 months...you want it THAT much more :) good luck!

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