Monday, April 16, 2007

To Commit or Not To Commit

That is the question.

Do you ever feel like the universe is plotting against you? Like everyone sat down when you weren't looking and all agreed to start nagging you at the same time?

So, last weekend my boyfriend and I have this conversation...

BF: "Have you started running again yet?"
Me: "No."
BF: "You've missed a few weeks with being sick. Can you make all that up?"
Me: "No."
BF: "So, what are you going to do?"
Me: "I don't know. I haven't decided. I don't want to talk about it."

Then, on Wednesday I was chatting online with a friend, and we have this one...

JL: "How's the running going?"
Me: "It sucks. I got sick and it slowed me down. I feel tired and worn out. Both knees are bothering me and I feel like quitting."
JL: "That blows."
Me: "Tell me about it."

Then on Thursday, my mom and I have this one...

Mom: "So, have you been able to run since you've been sick?"
Me: "No."
Mom: "Can you make it all up?"
Me: "No."
Mom: "What are you going to do?"
Me: "I don't know."
Mom: "Well, are you still running your race?"
Me: "I haven't decided."

Every time I look at my blog or log into my myspace account there are those pesky counters nagging me that I only have 45..44..43..42..41...days until Bayshore.

Alright already, I hear you loud and clear!! I got it already. I'm getting my butt back in gear.

I'm running, I'm running. I did last week's long run. I didn't miss my weekend run. I have tomorrow's run planned out (probably my first outside run since fall 'cuz - ya know - I'm a cold weather wimp and all).

But, does the universe cut me any slack? Does it recognize that I got the drift and I'm back on track and get off my back?

Of course not!

What does it do instead?

It taunts me.

It tosses a morsel in front of me, one that it knows I might not be able to turn down.

In my inbox this morning when I got up was an email telling me that registration was open to this.

Not that I am expecting it to be an exciting race, by racing standards. And Mouse told me that it was very unorganized, didn't have enough water stops and pretty much sucked when she ran it.

But it is in my home town, people. My teeny-tiny, podunk, don't blink or you'll miss it, home town! The place where I spent my entire, very loved, and very much missed, childhood. How cool is that?

And don't you remember how excited I was last year when I found out about it? And how disappointed I was when I couldn't run it because of my ankle?

I am dying to go wander the streets of my childhood, reminiscing of the good ol' days, in between gasping for breath, choking at the water stops, and cussing myself out for signing up for a race so early in the fall season when the temperature is bound to still be sweltering.

There are only 3 races that I really want to run: Bayshore - which I am doing on May 26th, the run around Mackinac Island - which is only 8 miles and I am planning on doing this year, and this one.

So, what's the problem, right?

This is the problem. Remember that post from 4 days ago. The one where I said I was tired of pushing, and that maybe I wanted a break from training.

Well, I can't run a 30K without some major training!!! The longest distance I've ever ran is 13.1 miles. And I've done it twice. Once in Indy, and once 3 weeks before - to prove to myself I could do it so I didn't have a major freak out on race morning.

I want to do the race, but I don't want to commit to the training. Lazy, Lazy, I am, but I just don't know if I'm up for it! But I'm going to hate myself come Labor day if I don't do this.

So, what's a runnergirl to do?

Luckily, this race isn't going to fill up, so I don't have to commit early and send in my registration. But I obviously will need to commit early enough to start training in time if I decide to do it.


  1. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that not only do you run it, but you rock it "runnergirl" style...but that's just a crazy guess...

  2. Don't sweat a little lost training--you still have time to be ready for race day!

    I can definitely relate about that 30K. Sometimes I feel like I should do fewer races and rest more, but they are so darn fun! Screw it--I would sign up if I were you. If you can do 13.1, 30K will be a piece of cake.

  3. I bet you'll do it. I don't even know how far 30K is...wait, that's like 18 miles??????

    I bet you can work up to it, you have time, it's not till Labor day.

    I think that's what committment is about, though. Saying no to what you think is less important so you can say yes to what IS important. If you want it, you can do this, girl!