Picking Up the Pieces

When I lifted my head up out of the post-divorce fog earlier this year, I realized that my life was in shambles and I didn't recognize myself any more. I had no idea where to start to try to find myself or to begin to put my life back together.

Ultimately, I ended up starting the only place I could... Rest. And lots of it.

I went to work because, of course, I had no choice. Someone had to keep the lights on and food on the table, and that someone had to be me. Other than that I didn't do a single thing I didn't have to do. I rarely left the house. I watched a lot of movies and old TV shows. I did a ton of puzzles. I slept as much as I could. I cuddled with my dogs.

Eventually, I realized that the first step I needed to take in order to feel ok again was to get my finance in order.

Let's just say the divorce took a toll.

I knew it was going to be a constant source of worry until I was on track again, so I went to work putting everything in place to begin securing my safety net.

Next, I decided that I was tired of how awful I was feeling and I had to start making some major changes to my diet. I was eating like complete crap because I hadn't had the capactiy to do anything other than open a bag, box, or can for months. So, I slowly started cooking again. At first, just a favorite meal here and there, but eventually I got back to cooking almost all of my meals. While that was a step in the right direction, I was still guzzling Pepsi and sugar on the daily. I knew I had to cut it out and slowly began working on it, one little step at a time. I'm still not quite where I want to be yet, but I'm close.

Finally, I decided that the only way I was going to really start feeling better was to start moving my body again. I needed to start getting some exercie. So, I signed up for some games through the StepBet App and started making an effort to reach my daily step goals. I also started doing a little yoga and stretching here and there.

As I slowly began taking care of myself again, I could feel the fog start to lift. Little glimpses of myself began to resurface. I started thinking about who I want to be and what I want my life to look like. I'm still trying to figure that out. But what I do know is that in a lot of ways, who I want to be looks an awful lot like who I used to be back when I was actively training.

I really have no idea what things look like going forward. I still have a long way to go to pick up the pieces and put my life back together. But I think if I am ever going to find happiness again, my life has to look something like it used to when I first started this blog.

So here I am.