Let's Talk Comebacks

When I decided to revisit my running blog a few days ago, I went back and read all of the posts I had written since my goodbye post in 2007 and I realized a few things:

1. The comeback in 2013 was never going to happen no matter what I did. Pretty much every aspect of my life was coming apart at the seams and I was powerless to do much about it. So, what did I decide to do? Start training for a marathon. After I hadn't run more than a handful of times in YEARS.

face palm

I think the idea to comeback was two fold - First, I didn't want to examine what was happening in my life so I was looking for a distraction. Second, I was completely miserable and trying to return to something that brought me a lot of joy in the past.

I can't say it any better than I already did when I reexamined things back in 2015:

Looking back, I've realized that I set myself up for failure when I tried to resume running in 2013. I was so desperate to regain the happiness I have lost that I went running back (pun intended) to the one thing that I thought could bring back that happiness. Not so coincidentally, it just so happened to be the one thing that I had control over during a time when I was feeling very powerless to change the things in my life that needed to change. Ultimately, my life was so full of stress and disappointment that I was unable to get past it to commit to giving running a real go again, and I quit before I even got started. I never even decided to quit, it just happened - which speaks volumes about my lack of commitment at the time.

2. The comeback in 2015 was never about running. At the time, I was lost and searching for something. Anything. to make me feel something other than the unhappiness I was drowning in.

I think I was really missing my old life. I was missing my real life friends back in Indiana. I was missing the connection I had with so many online runners back in the glory days. I was missing keeping a blog, which is something that I really enjoy doing. But most of all I missed feeling like a happy whole person, instead of the miserable empty shell of one that I had become.

But at the time, I really wasn't at a place mentally or physically to come back to running. And I knew it. In the few months that I dipped my toe back in, I never really even started running.

3. The comeback in 2020 was for real. I actually was running at the time. I'd started running before I even thought about resurrecting my running blog. The return was about the actual running for the first time.

And I was loving it!

The calf injury had me sidelined for a while, but I would have come back from it. I know I would have.

But then COVID happened.

And then my life imploded.

4. Which brings us to 2023. And the burning question, am I coming back? The answer being I don't know. But I'm thinking about it.

(Stay tuned!)