Thursday, June 15, 2006

Mornings Are Evil

Scene: Christmas Morning, 5 AM, Runnergirl Age 12, My Bedroom

Dad, opening bedroom door. And singing (in most horrible high pitch screeching voice imaginable) "Deck the Halls..."

Me,"Grrrr", as I put the pillow over my head.

Dad, "with boughs of holly."

Me, "Go Away!"

Dad,"Fa La La...", as he flicks on the light.

Me, "DAD! Turn off the light! Go Away! And STOP SINGING!"

Dad, "La La La La La La. Get Up!! Time to go to grandma's."

Me, "NO! 10 more minutes!"

Fast forward 10 minutes. Repeat sequence.

Scene: Any morning, getting ready for school, Runnergirl grades 9 - 12, 6 AM, the ONLY bathroom in the house.

Me, stumbling into bathroom, squinting as to avoid being blinded by light.

Mom, "Good Morning."

Me, "Whatever."

Mom, "What are you plans for tonight?"

Me, "Grrr."

Mom, "Do you know what time you will be home?"

Me, "NO!"

Mom, "What do you want for dinner?"

Me, "Do we have to talk about this now?"

Mom, " I was thinking that maybe this weekend........."

Me, "MOM! Why do you do this every morning? Can't you let me wake up in peace!?!? I wish we had another bathroom!"

Turn on water and slam shower door, escaping further argument.

Scene: Yesterday Morning, 7:15 AM, Runnergirl Age (HA! Like I am going to tell you!), Boyfriend's Bathroom

Me, stumbling out of bed and into bathroom, where boyfriend is talking on the phone/getting ready for work.

I simultaneously squint at the glaringly bright light out of one eye and scowl at Boyfriend, as he is cause of said light.

He hangs up the phone and starts singing to me, "You are my sunshine.."

Me, "Shut Up"

" only sunshine..."

Me, "Seriously, Shut Up!"

"You aren't being very nice."

Me, "Whatever. Just Shut Up."

I brush my teeth, pull up my hair, and leave his his house with one backwards glare.

Cursing the sun the whole drive home.

I don't know if Boyfriend is still speaking to me.

I may have to do some serious begging for forgiveness.

I wish I could say it was because I'm still sick, but I feel much better. The truth is I'm just horrible to be around in the AM.

My brain doesn't gain control of my mouth until I have been awake for at least 30 minutes. Before then, there is no filter. Whatever I think just comes out.

This is not a good thing.

Scene: this morning, 6:30 AM, My Bedrooom

Alarm starts blaring.

Me, "Ooy." Snooze.

Me, thinking..."snooze means it'll go off in 7 more minutes. We can't have that. Shut it off. Reset it for an hour."

I drug myself out of bed 30 minutes later and put on my running clothes. I laced up my shoes and hit the pavement.

And managed to complete my first decent run since I got back to my training.

It was perfect. Not too hot. And I don't think my mind or body was actually awake enough to register any pain.

I may continue to fool it for a while until it catches on to my plan.

So, I am joining the dark side. Morning runs here I come.

However, I suggest no one speaks to me until I'm finished and my filter is firmly in place for the day!


  1. I have to say, I'm the opposite -- a true 'morning person' so pre-dawn runs have been my sustenance for many, many years. But I married someone who sounds quite like you and learned quickly not to talk, let alone be chipper, in his presence until at least 10 a.m. In return, he doesn't suggest we go to any movies that start beyond 7 p.m.

  2. Great blog. I'm also running Chicago and start training next week. I run mornings and the painful part is leaving bed while the girlfriend is still sleep, then returning an hour later to find her still in bed, in a nice little slumber.. grrr.

  3. I am also not an AM person, and can be truly nasty first thing in the morning. My husband likes to annoy me with upbeat banter and I have learned to just ignore him, but he knows there's a line he can't cross or he'll get his eyes scratched out.

  4. Hah, I am all about the mornings.

    I've been up at 5am to work out every day this week, so far. I usually wake up a few minutes before my alarm clock, and when I wake up I am fully awake.

    Unfortunately, until I can rewire my bedroom, my alarm clock has had to be put at the other end of the room from where I sleep, so I can't shut my alarm off before it goes off and wakes up my fiance. Oh well, that's what she gets for being a slugabed some mornings (she gets up with me for half the week...)

  5. GIRL! I TOTALLY FEEL YOU!!! i am not the best person to talk to in the morning, but i can sure get in a good run in the morning...probably because i am still half asleep and think i am dreaming the whole thing!

    but way to go on the run!!! injury? what injury!?? ;)

  6. LOL...You are NOT a morning person. You can replay your sequences but place me in them and have it 10:00pm and I will have the same reaction! GRR.

  7. hahaha. you and sunshine would get along well in the mornings. I am constantly yelling "GOOD MORNING!" to her, and she just responds "eh."