Remind Me Why!

Disclaimer: If you care to join me for my pity party, read on..... If you aren't up for some good old fashion whining, then I suggest you skip this post.

Will someone please remind me why I am doing this?!?!

I have been back at my running for a little over 2 weeks now. And it has done nothing but suck since I started training again!

Why did I take 3 weeks off? Why oh why was I so stupid?

I thought I had good reasons. Really. Honest. I did!

Mentally I felt I needed the break, and I was trying to give my knee some rest time. But I am regretting it so much now. I feel like I have lost so much ground. Every run since I've been back has been slow, and hard, and miserable.

My lungs hurt. My legs hurt. My mind hurts from the thought of 4 1/2 months of this!

Yesterday was "long run" day. I only set out to go 6 miles. Hah.

I made it 4 and felt like I was going to die. May 6 was barely more than a month ago. Did I actually make it 13.1 miles a month ago? And feel good about it? Did I imagine that entire race?

This morning was the first group training session for TNT. So, I got up at the crack of dawn to be there by 7:00 AM. And we all know how much this runnergirl loves the AM as stated here and here.

So, I get to the training 30 minutes early because I am anal retentive and wanted to be on time, and wasn't positive that I knew where I was going. I'm sitting in my car waiting on everyone else listening to Dave Matthews (whom I saw in concert last Saturday night - Awesome!) and it starts drizzling. Great. The longer I sit, the harder it rains.

By the time Coach Mike and everyone else get there it is pretty much a down pour. We went to a pavilion in the park to cover the first training basics and get to know each other a little, etc, etc.

Then we break up to go run. I set off with Coach Mike for a run of undetermined length. It was my 5th day in a row of running and I was just plain tired. Technically today was supposed to be an off day for me, so I was just gonna play it by ear.

I was talking to Mike and quickly getting out of breath. I was trying to keep up a steady pace and not bounce around like I normally do. I'm kind of a wimp, so when I run on my own I slow down and speed up quite a bit as I get tired, and recover. I didn't want to keep changing pace on Mike so I tried to keep constant. We keep running and I keep getting more and more tired. Mike was letting me set the pace, but I felt like I was running a lot faster than normal.

We neared the end of the 2 mile loop, and I felt like I was going to pass out. It was down pouring, water was running off my hat, my glasses were fogging up, and my legs felt like spaghetti. I told Mike I was bailing on him, and jogged off to my car. I stretched and got in for the drive home.

Before I took off, I looked at my Garmin, fully expecting to see a 9:45 min/mile pace because it felt SOOO much faster than my normal 11:00 min/mile.

Hah.

Fooled again. We ran both miles at an average pace of 10:30.

Can running make you insane?

I swear we were running faster than that! And I really think I ran 13.1 miles on May 6.

But then again, maybe I've just lost my mind.

Please, oh please, someone make it get better!