First Three Miler... Check and Mark!

And man does it feel good!

I don't know what it is about 3 miles that makes it feel like such a milestone, but it definitely does.  When I stop and think about it, it makes absolutely no sense.  I mean really.  3 miles?  It's nothing.  Baby steps on the way to 26.2.  But right now I feel like I just climbed the Mt. Everest of running.  I am queen of the mountain.  Hear me roar.

A-hem. Anyway. Moving on.

I was supposed to run my 3 mile "long run" on Saturday and then run 2 miles on Sunday, but sadly I didn't do either. An unexpected 4 days off in a row resulted in a last minute long weekend getaway. And even though I had the best of intentions, those runs just didn't happen.  As any runner will tell you, you can't skip the long runs no. matter. what. so even though it was only 3 miles, I had to get my butt out there and get them in ASAP!

If I'm going for full disclosure, I have to admit that I was dreading the run.  Three days of not running combined with tired legs from walking so much combined with LOTS of bad food and drink choices on my trip on top of having to run after working all day and then attending a little Memorial Day dinner with some friends had me expecting the worst.  So, I was pleasantly surprised when the run actually felt great, especially when I got to the end of the 3 miles and realized I could have eeked out another mile or so.  I'm not gonna lie.  I was so ready to be done.  But I could have kept going if I'd had to.

My knees, on the other hand, don't feel quite as good about the experience as I do and both are currently screaming at me.  But, it's a pounding the pavement kind of screaming and not an old injury rearing its ugly head kind of screaming.  I'm not sure I can really explain the difference, but trust me, I can definitely feel the difference. Just one more reason to start shopping for a new treadmill.  The less miles on the pavement, the better.

Splits:
Mile 1 11:36
Mile 2 11:39
Mile 3 12:03

Now, to just squeeze in those other 2 miles this week and I'll be back on track.  In the past, I could have gotten away with just letting them go but with where I'm starting I really can't afford to skip any of my training runs.  I have a feeling this week is going to kick my butt by the time time it's all said and done.

Running Week in Review

I'm once again playing catch up on this week's runs. It's nice having them recorded so I can look back and be reminded of my progress.  At the same time it seems rather silly to write individual blog posts for such short runs, so this seems to work best for now.

Sunday
This was my last 1 miler.  By the time I worked all day and shot an evening photo session, I was just plain exhausted.  I knew once I stopped moving I was going to crash, so as soon as I got home got my butt out the door.  The silver lining of having to run on busy days is that I'm motivated to run faster just to get it done.

Split:
Mile 1 10:48

Tuesday
Tuesdays start a new training week (well technically Mondays do, but they are rest days), which means increased miles.  It is also the only day where my runs falls on a full work day.  In my world this is a bad combo because I'm usually lacking in motivation after work, and today was no exception.  It took me until 9:30 PM to convince myself to lace up my shoes and hit the road, but I finally managed to crank out the 2 miles on the schedule.  Surprisingly, once I got going the run felt pretty good, and I felt like I could have kept going.

Splits:
Mile 1 11:29
Mile 2 11:40

Thursday
Today's run just. plain. sucked.  I had to get up and run first thing to fit it in before I head out of town later today.  I still have to pack and get the house picked up so it's not a mess for my friend who will be staying with our dogs.  With so much still left to do, I knew if I put the run off I wouldn't get to it.

Saying I'm not a morning person is a bit of an understatement and my body wanted nothing to do with running so early.  I felt like my legs were made of cement during the first mile, and by the second I was tired of the heat and the sun.  I really wanted to quit halfway in, but didn't.  By now I know I have two choices: suffer through the run, and spend the rest of the day guilt free OR quit the run and suffer through the guilt the rest of the day, and possibly longer.  Suffering through the run is almost always the less painful of the two options.  So, after reminding myself of that little lesson learned the hard way many times over, I just gritted my teeth and got through it.

Splits:
Mile 1 12:26 (no. that's not a typo.)
Mile 2 11:43

In other super exciting news, I desperately need to find a nearby running store.  It's getting close to the point where I need to reacquaint myself with my old friend, body glide, and I am in some serious need of new running clothes!  This mornings run also bumped up "buy a new treadmill" several places on my to do list.  I've seriously lost my mind deciding to start training just as we enter the insanely hot Phoenix summer, and I need to have an alternative to running outside mid-day.

Memories

I'm finding myself in an odd place as I walk back through a door that I thought I'd firmly closed behind me forever.  I'm reconnecting with old friends and acquaintances from my running days, and stirring up lots of good memories.  In many ways it feels like those days just happened, and I have to keep reminding myself that it has been 6 or 7 years since I've spoken to some of them.  In other ways it feels like several lifetimes have passed, and I can't believe that so many things are still the same.

Last night while I was out running, I was wishing that I knew someone to train with on Tuesdays.  Finding the motivation to run after work has always been difficult for me, and knowing that someone else is counting on me to show up is a huge help.  I found myself reminiscing about the midweek runs with my old training partner who I met when I ran with TNT the first time.  I decided to look him up on Facebook today, only to find out that he ran the Chicago Marathon last year and is thinking about doing another charity run again soon, too.  I was so excited to hear that he had resumed running again and had completed a marathon.

I'm anxious to meet the members of the Team in Training group for this season. Unfortunately all of the events seem to be falling on days when I'm at work or otherwise already committed, so I haven't had the opportunity to join in as of yet.  Fingers crossed that once I do, I will connect with a few fellow trainees and I can begin making some new memories with the people I meet along this journey.

Testing... Testing... Is This Thing On?

Can anybody hear me?

I've been wandering about the running blog world, checking in on all of my old favorite RBFers and I am so sad to see that almost all of them have either abandoned their blogs or simply deleted them all together.  The few that are still hanging on seem to be doing so by a thin thread, with posts every few months if even then.

Well, what did you expect?  It's been six years!

I know. I know. I guess I just wanted to live in a dream world where I was going to return to running and all of my old online running friends were going to be there waiting to welcome me back in with open arms.

Yes. Ridiculous. I know.

People change. Things change. Times change. It's the way of the world.

That doesn't mean I have to like it.

I was so used to belonging to part of an supportive online running community that since returning I sort of feel like I've been talking to myself. Not like that's new or anything.  And the realization is settling in that I'm going to have to dig in and do the work to connect with some new online runners and establish a new network and support system of other runners who also suffer from this same form of insanity that I do.

Wind Cave Trail Hike

I hiked The Usery Mountain Wind Cave Trail on Saturday. It's a 3.2 mile hike, with a 800 ft elevation gain. And it just about killed me.

I honestly don't love hiking. It's not that I don't think I could get into hiking, per se. I'm just so darn out of shape right now that the climbing just about does me in. By the time I get to the top of the trail I'm gasping for breath and my heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest. Says the girl who just signed up to run a marathon in the hilliest place on the planet.

I do think the hiking is great cross training, and I'd like to continue to hike regularly, I just wish I could find some hikes close to home that are more of a beginner level so I didn't feel like I'm about to die every time I go. 

In other news, I received my first donation yesterday! YIPPEE! Fundraising: $100 donated - Thanks, Lisa!! :)

Playing Catch Up

I just thought I'd play at a little catch up and update the old blog with this week's runs.

Tuesday
This was my first official training run, and my super beginner scheduled called for 1 mile.  I decided to be an overachiever and went 1.25, but don't get used to that or anything.

Splits:
Mile 1 11:45
Mile .25 2:55

Thursday
My plan was to get up early and get Thursday's 1 mile run out of the way first thing in the morning, but for some insane reason I randomly woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep the night before.  So, by the time I did crash out again and wake back up that morning run idea was nothing but a distant memory.  No biggie - I'll just do it in the evening.  Until I remembered that I had a photo session on my schedule.  Whoops. Which meant I had to crank out the run in the mid-afternoon 100 degree heat.  I was dreading it, but it honesty wasn't as bad as I was expecting.  That being said, I stuck to my 1 mile and got it done as fast as I could. Lack of time is an excellent motivator.

Split:
Mile 1 10:37

Friday
Today was supposed to be a rest day, but I wanted to sneak in a Saturday morning hike tomorrow, so I did this weeks "long" run today instead of tomorrow.  In a few short weeks I am going to be longingly looking back at this week's mileage!

Splits:
Mile 1  11:46
Mile 2  11:39

As I look at the splits from past runs, and splits from the past week of training, it is insane how I've picked right back up at the. exact. same. place.  I am nothing if not consistent.

Tomorrow will be a little cross training via hiking and Sunday will be my last 1 miler before this shit gets real.

Answering the Why

It's time to answer the big question that I know everyone is probably wondering.  And that question, you ask?

Why?  The question is Why?

Why am I going to do this again?  Why am I going to put myself through the mental and physical challenges of training to run a marathon?  Why am I going to risk the devastation of defeat if old injuries rear their ugly heads and get in the way of completing my goal?  Why am I going to commit to begging everyone I know to help me raise $3200 between now and October?  And why am I doing it all for a cause that has never directly impacted my life?

When I answered this question back in 2006, my answer was fairly simple.  This time it's not quite so easy.  But I'm going to give it my best shot to answer it anyway.

Here we go...

When I made the decision to quit running, a part of my soul died. And the irony isn't lost on me that I just so happen to be writing this post 6 years TO THE DAY after my announcement. I've spent 6 years waiting and hoping that it would come back to life, but it never did.  By the time I decided to quit, running wasn't just something I did; it was who I was.  I don't think I can really put into words how completely and utterly lost I have felt since then.

I've always been a determined and driven person.  One who isn't happy unless I am striving to achieve the next big goal that is just beyond my reach. Running was such a perfect fit for me because there's always that next race distance to reach for or that new PR (personal record) to beat. I've tried channeling that drive into other areas of my life but with little success.  I even went back to college and earned another degree, just to give myself a goal to work toward.  It helped, but once I graduated, I was right back to where I started.  I've settled into the boring routine of adulthood, and I feel like the mundane monotony of my life is about to kill me.  I need to be constantly challenging myself to feel like I am alive, and nothing I have attempted in the years since I quit running has provided me with that challenge.

When I relocated to Phoenix almost 2 years ago, I was full of excitement over the new life I was going to create here.  Only I forgot just how difficult it is starting over in a new city where I don't know anyone. And instead of the exciting new life I was anxiously anticipating, my days are consumed with mind numbing boredom with a little bit of isolation and loneliness thrown in for good measure.

When I participated with Team in Training back in 2006, I was impressed with the organization and the training program.  I believe that if anything is going to be able to get me back into running and help me regain what has been missing from my life all these years, TNT is it.  Starting over is hard. Harder than I ever could have imagined.  I finish running a mile or two, panting and out of breath with every muscle screaming at me, and I want to sit down on the side of the road and cry.  Not at the pain and the exhaustion, but over the fact that I'm back at the beginning - where a mile or two can make me feel so weak.  Allowing myself to become overwhelmed by where I am and by how far I have to go is a distinct possibility, but committing to train with Team in Training will give me an extra source of much needed support and motivation to ensure that doesn't happen.

I met so many wonderful and amazing people during my time with Team in Training, and I am hoping to have a similar experience with returning to the team.  Training for an endurance event with other individuals forges bonds between you that others can't quite understand. No one else understand the thrill of completing a long run, or the crushing blow of not completing one, quite like those who are going through the exact same experience.  It takes a special kind of person to make the sacrifices it takes to train and fundraise for Team in Training (and other similar organizations), and I want to get to know some of those people in this new city that I now call home.  But even if I don't manage to make any new friends along this journey, the training will keep me busy enough that the boredom will be a distance memory and I won't have time to remember the loneliness.

So I guess all that's left is the question of why I am doing all of this for a cause that has never directly impacted my life.  I honestly don't have an answer.  Just because it hasn't yet affected my life, doesn't mean it couldn't.  Tomorrow is promised to no one.  Tragedy can strike anyone at anytime in a multitude of ways.  Maybe I'm just tossing a little bit of good juju out into the universe and hoping that it helps keep me and my loved ones safe and healthy.  Maybe it's something about the fact that so many of the individuals who battle blood cancers do so for years and years and years.  When I felt like my body couldn't take any more training and I was tired of the pain, I quit.  That's really not an option for the people who are battling for their lives against these devastating cancers.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that so many of the people who are drug through the battlefield against these diseases are children who shouldn't have to experience such things at such a young age.  Maybe I'll never really know the answer.  And I'm ok with that.  It's enough for me to feel like something compels me to do it. I don't have to know why.

So there you go, my dear readers.  An attempt to answer the nagging questions that I'm sure a lot of you have been wondering.  I'm honored that you are here reading this, and I hope that you will continue to join me on my journey.  Thank you.